We’ve all had it happen.
You get an enquiry, they’re looking for a birthday cake and you are THE cakemaker of choice. They are so excited! They’re giving you every detail of what they want on their cake, how they want their cake decorated, the flavour combination, colours, links to Pinterest and thousands of screengrabs of other designer cakes they’ve found on Google.
You get excited too – you can’t wait get designing!
You work it all out and send your quote.
Then you wait with baited breath. You check again. And again. And again. But crickets, nadda, nothing, zip, zero. There is just no reply.
Your heart drops like a stone, all of your excitement evaporates and you know it’s happened – you’ve been *ghosted.*
That ghosting can trigger off a whole avalanche of emotions, and none of them are positive.
So, what’s happened?
You’ve gone from a perfectly happy positive state of mind and now you are sat at the bottom of a gloom pit catastrophising!
You’ve made a bunch of wildly unfounded false assumptions about yourself
and / or a bunch of even more wildly unfounded false assumptions about someone else. You may have even shared this whole traumatic set of emotions with a close one or bunch of strangers on the internet and the whole vibe has dropped.
Feel good? Didn’t think so – and here is why I believe none of it is worth doing.
Not everyone out there is meant for you.
Not every person you touch is going to be your client.
And here’s the big thing. That says nothing about them OR you
and that’s OK.
There are people out there who will LOVE what you do, they will VALUE your time and your SKILL, and they will understand that this workmanship has a price which is acceptable to them. If you want to learn how to find and attract these elusive people check out my blog post on ‘unicorn clients.’
I know many caker’s out there feel that no matter what it’s polite to at LEAST reply saying thank you and the indignation often comes from the fact your hard work has been acknowledged with no reply at all, absolutely zip.
So let’s think about it like this...
If I go to clothes shopping i pick a shop I like the look of and walk in. I will glance at all the clothes, I I may even pick up several items. I might even go as far as trying one or two on. In the end though I decide the fit isn’t quite right or the colour won’t work with the shoes I already own, or maybe I absolutely love the dress, it’s perfect in every way but no matter what I can’t justify the price because my budget doesn’t stretch, my need for the dress doesn’t match the money in my pocket so I put it back and keep looking somewhere else for a solution that fits my needs better.
At no point during this internal dialogue do I feel the need to find a sales assistant, tap them on the shoulder and explain my thought process. I don’t pick up the phone to the stores customer service and ask to speak to the CEO because
I do not feel the need to justify my actions and no justification is expected of me.
The sales assistant knows it’s not personal and the CEO isn’t spending their day thinking about me, the CEO has their eyes on the horizon and not one individual. They don’t take it personally and I’m not made to feel guilty either.
It’s just not quite a perfect match this time
And that’s OK.
Remember that although you may not have a choice about being in the situation you find yourself in…
You do have the power of choice in your reaction.
You can either choose to lose your afternoon, your mood and possibly to mood of those around you to ‘being ghosted’ and all the false thoughts that can trigger OR you can just smile and keep on keeping on – championing your cause, striving to be better today than you were yesterday and knowing, KNOWING that YOUR customers are out there wanting to hear from you, waiting to see you, to hoping to find you as they have a problem that you are the PERFECT person to solve.
What you focus on WILL grow.
They key is to begin understanding what the perfect match ‘unicorn client’ for your business looks like and creating a brand that shines gloriously directly in front of their eyes. So focus all your energy on shaking your tail feathers in the right direction and please, just let everyone else
If you’ve enjoyed this post and found it of helpful, please support me by hitting the subscribe button. That way you’ll be the first to know whenever there is a new blog post up and i’ll know i’m not waffling into the black hole of scrolling to no one at all.